Posts Tagged ‘self esteem’

Do These Limitations Unknowingly Restrict Your Sales Success?

In sales, there are many limitations to sustainable sales success. What I have discovered through years of experience reinforced by actual data from the Attribute Index, there are four somewhat hidden limitations that restrict sales success as well as in life in general.

Sales Success Limitations

Self Esteem (Self-Acceptance) – How do you appreciate your own unique self worth? Additionally one bases these feelings on “internal factors, as opposed to external ones.  This internal feeling of value allows them to appreciate themselves based not on what they do, what role they occupy or what success they attain, but rather how they judge themselves based on who they know themselves to be inside.” (Source: Innermetrix)

Remember Sally Field when accepting the Academy Award said “you really like me.”  She was revealing her own self-esteem with those four words.

Role AwarenessHow aware are you of your role in the world? Each role has specific expectations.  If someone does not understand those expectations, they may have further lack of clarity as to what he or she should be doing.

Self Direction How well are you excelling in your chosen career path? People who set personal goals, operate with a passion in this endeavors, be open to change and have a strong sense of duty to their own ideals and goals do not experience this limitation.

Possibly you have heard the statement “realizing your potential?”  When there is a lack of clarity with self-direction, potential is not realized.

Internal Temperament What is your degree of optimism or pessimism?  Our internal temperament is how we tend to view our lives either overly positive or overly negative through our biases.  Some individuals have no biases and are neutral.  I have come to call this potential limitation our “internal passion indicator.” 

Until we have absolute, clear, crystal clarity, we will continue to face our own internal limitations.  Now is not the time to meet the enemy and discover the enemy, the one keeping you from sustainable sales success is you.

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Great Salespeople Truly Never Give Up

Once again, we witnessed how the underdog, the team, the individual never gave up. This “never give up” attitude is also embedded within great salespeople.



2016 was and 2017 appears to be years where the can do attitude, never give up attitude will triumph over the can’t do one. Henry Ford is quoted as saying:

“Whether you think you can or you think you cannot, either way you will be right.” 

How many times do we allow our own inner voices and sometimes the outside voices of others defeat us when we are so close to winning, to success?  Thomas Edison realized this when he said:

“Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.”

Great salespeople persevere especially when the going gets tough. They keep moving forward even when defeats happen.  F. Scott Fitzgerald also recognized the essence of perseverance when he wrote:

“Never ever confuse a single defeat with a final defeat.”

American Author, William Feather echoed Fitzgerald’s words through a different bullhorn.

“Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.”

There will always be naysayers who will be quick to shout your defeat.  Great salespeople shake these words off like dogs who shake their coats after after running through the rain or snow.

Years ago I read something about “if you give you, you never truly wanted it.”  For sales success,  you must want success beyond the dollars and cents.  Money as a motivator is necessary, but not truly sustainable.

As my husband, a now retired entrepreneur said:

“It is not a question of do I know it, but rather one of do I want to do it?”

His words reflect an internal desire to want to win that goes beyond the external rewards of money, status and recognition.   The want to is how his and our  own self-confidence, self esteem and self worth are reaffirmed.

Great salespeople know how to overcome the limitations preventing them from sales success. Many live by these words of General Hannibal:

“We will either find a way or make one.”

Do You Want to be Among the Great Salespeople?

Learn what motivates you to never give up!

Take advantage of this special offer by CLICKING HERE.


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Look Beyond the Keystrokes to Build Key Relationships

Having those key relationships is essential in our personal to professional lives. Yet with technology, it appears we are being limited by how we communicate and interact with others.  Suddenly we become conditioned to stroking the keys instead of actually speaking with another human being.



How often do we hear about people eating either in public or at home busily typing on their keyboards and ignoring everyone else at the table?  Some businesses and families now require the smart phones to be placed in a basket or in the center of the table with severe penalties for anyone who touches his or her smart device.

The Irony of Human Behavior and Key Relationships

Isn’t it ironic that human beings who are social creatures in their efforts to be even more social have isolated themselves through the stroking of the keys? They desire key relationships yet keep those very same people at arms length through today’s technology.

This goes to this essential question: What are we afraid of?

Now some may say they aren’t afraid, but this is a matter of convenience, of saving time.  Really?  How many times are texts not read or emails not returned?

Social media has probably exacerbated this problem of not physically talking with others.  We can say we have a thousand Facebook Friends or LinkedIn connections and yet how many have we personally communicated with? How many real, key relationships do we truly have?

Are we using these numbers to reinforce our own self-esteem, self-worth while insulating ourselves from potential emotional harm?

Staying personally in touch with others is very difficult especially as our communities expand regionally, nationally and globally.  Yet it can be done through the very same technology that is limiting real human interactions.

Years ago we heard these words from a telecommunications provider “Reach out and touch someone.” Possibly it is time to heed those words, make a phone call, meet with a friend, colleague and truly connect with another human being one on one.  Who knows, you may actually enjoy the experience?

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Sustainable Sales Success Tip #10 – Be The Best You Can Be

This past week at a regular B2B networking group, South Shore Business Networking, the question was asked about sales success specific to what makes you different?  Everyone shared his or her personal and professional experiences when answering this question.

sales-successOne member, Marti Masterson of Masterson Alliance (independent insurance agency) shared this simple thought:

Be the best you can be!

Marti begins each day by telling herself to be the best she can be.

Wow, what a simple sales success tip that is probably overlooked more often than not.

We as human beings are negatively conditioned. Unfortunately we gravitate to the negative energy instead of making our own positive energy.

By sending a energizing, positive message to her brain every morning, she is now far more proactive than reactive in her sales behaviors. Marti realizes every action must be the very best from answering the phone to meeting with clients and colleagues.

Imagine what might happen to your day if you began with a similar positive belief statement or affirmation of:

Be the best you can be!

Would you attempt to change your behaviors to model this positive self-talk?  My sense is you would.

Would you also gain greater self confidence, self esteem and a feeling of self-worth. Again my sense is you would.

Being in sales, sometimes it is easy to be derailed, to go into a corner and have a private pity party.  Positive self talk of be the best you can be works to counter that human inclination.

Take a lesson learned from Marti Masterson and embrace each sales day with this positive bolt of personal energy.  You just may find some sales success much sooner rather tan later.

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Boasting Of Accomplishments Is Not Necessary

Have you ever read some blog posting where the writer starts out boasting about his or her accomplishment within the first few words?  Or how about all those webcasts where the first 5 minutes the speaker shares his or her credentials and accomplishments?  Is all this boasting really necessary?

boastingThere are ways to highlight one’s achievements without all the self -serving platitudes.

Boasting reflects weakened self-esteem and self-worth.

“Look at me” translates in many instances as to “My  ego is so fragile I cannot look at myself.”

Sure the squeaky wheel gets oiled first.  We must not fear acknowledging to ourselves what we do well.  The secret is to ourselves.  We do not need to tell the entire world “Look at me! Look at what I have done.”

When we are authentically humble, we appreciate the compliments others bestow upon us.  We do not have to bestow those compliments on ourselves.

Humility is a gift.  We can quietly open and allow the world to appreciate us for who we are.

To continually shout to the world about all your achievements and then whine when others do not appreciate them is not a sign of a strong leadership, but rather reflects poor leadership and a very weak leader.

Be the change you want in the world.  Refrain from boasting of your accomplishments.  Instead compliment others on theirs and be gracious when they compliment you without any encouragement on your part.

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Leanne Hoagland-Smith is THE People and Process Problem Solver. She supports forward thinking leaders in bridging the gaps between the two problems restricting strategic business growth – people and processes. Leanne can be reached at 219.508.2859 central time USA.  Follow her on Twitter or check out her profile on LinkedIn


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How Handling Rejection Reflects Your Emotional Intelligence

Very few people enjoyed being told no, less alone being told no on a regular basis.  In sales, how we deal with being told no is called “handling rejection.” What many sales training programs and even sales coaches fail to realize that there is a direct connection between the handling rejection and emotional intelligence.

handling-rejectionWithin the Innermetrix Attribute Index, handling rejection is defined as:

“The ability to handle rejection on a personal level is based almost solely on the individual’s self-esteem, the ability of a person to see themselves as valuable, separate and apart from their role or position in life.”

In simpler terms, handling rejection is all about not taking the rejection personally.

There are several almost clinical definitions of emotional intelligence as it is a combination of both inter-intelligence and intra-intelligence.  I believe in keeping definitions as simple as possible. Over the years, I have come to define emotional intelligence as “the ability to recognize and understand the feelings of someone else (inter-intelligence); to recognize and understand your own feelings (intra-intelligence) and then to manage them both.”

When we are rejected, there is an almost instantaneous emotional response. In this window of time, there is a natural tendency to become far more reactive than proactive. Our first reaction might be to respond negatively as we are emotionally “righting this wrongful hurt.”  We feel we must strengthen our self-esteem that has suffered this perceived attack.

However, this is when we need to step back, to begin to apply emotional intelligence to the situation. We have already recognized and understood our own feelings in a limited manner. Now is the time to step away from those feelings to recognize and understand the feelings of the other person. Once we have begun to synthesis this information, we then can better manage both sets of feelings.

I truly wish more sales training programs as well as sales coaches would bring emotional intelligence into this skill set of handling rejection. My sense is there would far less negative, emotional reactions and ultimately increase sales success.

If you want to know how well you handle rejection, then learn more about the Innermetrix Attribute Index.

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Leanne Hoagland-Smith is THE People and Process Problem Solver. She supports forward thinking leaders in bridging the gaps between the two problems restricting strategic business growth – people and processes. Leanne can be reached at 219.508.2859 central time USA.  Follow her on Twitter or check out her profile on LinkedIn.


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Disappointment Is Unmet Expectations

Have you ever thought about why you may have some disappointment?  I recently realized this emotion is the result of my own expectations not being met or fulfilled.



Unmet expectations have one origin, ourselves, but many involve these other aspects.

  • We can be disappointed by not achieving our own expectations.
  • We can be disappointed by others not achieving our own expectations.
  • We can be disappointed by not meeting the expectations of others which presumes we already had internalized these expectations as our own.

Stress Increases as Emotions Increase

From our disappointments we  increase our stress levels because those expectations have been tied together with a variety of emotions.  Now our decision making process is allowing more emotions in instead of keeping those emotions out. In other words, we have increased our “angst” and potentially generated even more negative emotions that impact our self-esteem, self-confidence to even role awareness.

Additionally, as we ponder our decisions, we may allow those emotions to stay within this process instead of letting them roll off our backs, like water off a duck’s back.  I call this “stewing” when working with executive coaching clients.

How many times do we get our “knickers in a knot” because of disappointment?

  • Why did I act that way?  I know better than that.
  • So and so did not do what I expected him or her to do. This is believed by many parents and spouses.
  • I really hated letting so and so down as he or she was counting on me.

Life delivers enough unexpected changes of expectations without us taking any more of them onto our backs.


Sphere of Control – Sphere of Influence

For me, by returning to the Sphere of Cseontrol and asking myself these questions helps to reduce my own disappointment in myself and in others:

  1. Is this something I can control?
  2. Is this something I wish to influence to put under my control?
  3. Is this something totally outside of my control?

For myself and working with clients, much of our disappointment resides in what we cannot control.  This only adds to our stress and further erodes our own self worth.

The next time you feel disappointment consider reflecting as to why you are experiencing this emotion. Use the sphere of control to determine if maybe this is something outside of your control or influence.  If the disappointment is important, then take action to reverse this emotional feeling. What I have found is goal setting, goal planning and goal achievement works very well when coupled with this goals setting worksheet.


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Sales Leadership Temperament of Discriminating Part 38

If someone was hiring for a sales leadership role, this is one internal bias that may be a double edge sword. Individuals with this internal temperament display the following biases:



The neutral self esteem suggests this person is neither overly optimistic or pessimistic.  He or she “accepts himself or herself for who he or she is and he or she has a clear sense of his or her own abilities.”  (Source:  Innermetrix Attribute Index)

With the positive role awareness, those with this sales leadership temperament are “pretty comfortable with themselves in general.”  However these individuals may “choose roles that they feel will enhance their self-esteem.”  For example, these salespeople might want the big, glamorous accounts.  (Source:  Innermetrix Attribute Index)

Additionally, those with this sales leadership temperament specific to positive role awareness “may place a little too much importance on their jobs” and the ability of the job “to make them happy.” (Source:  Innermetrix Attribute Index)

Finally, the negative self direction indicates “some doubt as the best way to proceed in the future or which direction to go in the future.”  What this means for the sales management is this individual may not be around for the long haul and may be a short timer unless something changes internally for him or her. Here is where the two edge sword comes into play.

Having conducted hundreds of the Innermetrix Attribute Index, I have yet to assess a person in any role with this internal bias of discriminating.  If you wish to know your sales leadership talents and biases, then this talent assessment is not only affordable, but quickly taken (in under 12 minutes).  You will probably be surprised by the depth of information as well as its accuracy.

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Sales Leadership Temperament of Dependent Part 37

So far after conducting hundreds of Innermetrix Attribute Index profile assessments, I have yet to encounter this internal temperament for those in any sales leadership roles. An individual with this particular temperament displays:


What this means those with this temperament have attitudes about their selves which can “be easily influenced by the opinions of others.” In sales this capacity to be easily influenced is not a good trait.  (Source: Innermetrix Attribute Index)

With the neutral self-esteem, these individuals neither “overvalue or undervalue their own self worth.” However with the negative role awareness they may “allow the opinions to others to sway them one way or the other.” (Source: Innermetrix Attribute Index)

This negative role awareness suggest at this time, these individuals are “hesitant about exerting a lot of energy in one of their primary roles.”  Additionally, if they were in sales leadership roles or any other roles, they may be “seeking outside approval from others before making such an investment.”  This confusion may have this individual becoming “more easily distracted” and may “avoid commitment due to this fact.”  (Source: Innermetrix Attribute Index)

Not all internal temperaments are good fits for sales.  This is why knowing the person’s external and internal temperaments is essential to finding the right person for your sales leadership role. The Attribute Index is an incredible powerful talent assessment.

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Sales Leadership Temperament of Expressive Part 36

Being your own person is a good sales leadership trait. These words best probably best describe an individual with this internal temperament of expressive. These individuals have:


Credit: Gratisography

The neutral self esteem provides a “solid and fairly accurate” sense of self worth. This neutrality allows those with this temperament to “neither under nor over value” their own abilities. Additionally, they  “set appropriate limitations” for themselves.  (Source:  Innermetrix Attribute Index)

Having the negative role awareness and positive self direction, those with this sales leadership temperament of expressive “are also very driven to follow” their “own sense of direction.” They believe “things are to be done a certain way.”   Additionally, they will “endeavor to ensure that they are done so” because this, to them, is a “key to success.”   (Source:  Innermetrix Attribute Index)

Finally, these individuals can be “tenacious when it comes to adhering to their own rules.” They are for the most part “punctual, conscientious and well organized.” (Source:  Innermetrix Attribute Index)

Having personally delivered hundreds of Attribute Index talent assessments, I have yet to have assessed someone in a sales leadership role with this internal temperament. The one temperament held by all top sales performers is compulsive.

If you wish to know if you have the top internal temperament held by top sales performers and to learn more about the Attribute Index, click here.

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